"I'm use to things not working out"

"I'm use to things not working out." Those are the words from 21 year-old black male American, DeMarlon, from MTV's True Life documentary show, "I'm dead broke." Him and his entire family had just found out that they were being kicked out of their home because they couldn't afford the rent. All they had left was 100 dollars. They had to pack up everything they had in one pick up truck and leave. Their future looks uncertain.

This show hurt me bad. My first world problems are bullshit and so are yours. DeMarlon took the words right out of my mouth when he said "I'm use to things not working out." Those are my first world words from my spoiled, selfish first world mouth. This entry was supposed to be me ranting about my infinite sadness, the five hour CPR recertification hell class I had to take today and how much I hated it, or the fact that my parents, for one of the few times in my life, actually wanted to spend some time doing something with their son. After watching this, I see the reality of how petty these things are. I really just wanna throw up.

Things never work out for me. They aren't and I doubt they ever will. But what I should be doing is licking my wounds. These people, in America no less, would cut their arms off for a chance at my life. Now, imagine a third world country where poverty is a forever future for the people who live there. But now add in disease and war and you might be half way there. Would you ever trade with them? Just hanging around with a first world person means miles to these people and all I see is myself. My selfish self and my petty life that sucks a big fat dick. Who really gives a fuck about my O.C.D, really.

I can't look at the other True Life documentaries seriously anymore, moreover, real life in general. Whether it's your cosmetic surgery dreams that aren't coming true or your daddy who won't buy you a new car on your sweet sixteen, it's an insult and a disgrace in the eyes of a person dying to take a real breathe. I feel sorry for all of us.