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i was brought to a startling reality this morning during my weekly therapy session; that i may be unable to accept the love of another woman. figuring out why is the key to moving forward in life and settling with someone who truly loves me.
my icon to the right is obviously a broken heart robot, a thing of no feeling, which almost feels like what i've become; a robot with a broken heart. i've complained for years of the heart break i've been through, which seemed like a never ending drag for the last six straight years and it has truly shaped me for the good and the bad. till i finally met two woman who i love to the deep core of my heart and have thrown themselves on the tracks for me and i've pushed them both away to only hurt myself.
i don't know what to do with this situation. i've started to think that i'm going to be alone forever because of how terrified i am of love, which is probably just a deep-routed hurt from something from my past or the last seven years.
not afraid, just scared.
my icon to the right is obviously a broken heart robot, a thing of no feeling, which almost feels like what i've become; a robot with a broken heart. i've complained for years of the heart break i've been through, which seemed like a never ending drag for the last six straight years and it has truly shaped me for the good and the bad. till i finally met two woman who i love to the deep core of my heart and have thrown themselves on the tracks for me and i've pushed them both away to only hurt myself.
i don't know what to do with this situation. i've started to think that i'm going to be alone forever because of how terrified i am of love, which is probably just a deep-routed hurt from something from my past or the last seven years.
not afraid, just scared.
posted by Wishing A Coma at
4:24 PM
1 Comments:
I totally understand the part about feeling scared, about not wanting to get hurt again.
It's easy for me to say to you 'just take a chance and you might find the greatest love of your life' because I am not in your situation.
I hope that your heart heals so you can open it up again to someone truely worthy. I hope she makes you pasta for dinner and tells you to wear a scarf when its chilly so you don't catch a cold. I hope she is everything you've ever wanted. I hope that one day you will find her, and she will find you, and you will have the greatest love story of all.
I hope you figure it all out :)
We'll always be BFFL.
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